Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

What is the difference between the Bible and the Qur'an?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Nintendo Switch 2 pre-order: your last chance to reserve the console in the US - The Shortcut | Matt Swider

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Can you share a story of someone who had a lucky experience while hitchhiking?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Why after 50 years of being straight do I constantly desire to suck cock?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Why do older siblings always hate younger siblings?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

What is Palantir? The secretive tech company behind Trump's data collection efforts - Mashable

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Alex, C. Viper, Sagat and Ingrid announced for Street Fighter 6 Season 3 - EventHubs

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Shock as Republican plan will raise Americans' utility bills by hundreds a year - Alternet

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

How do flat earthers explain the Earth being stationary? Is this concept considered impossible?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t buy bullshit

I see through liars

Why is the show The Big Bang Theory so hated?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have a reading level above third grade

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I can read

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I can count

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I actually pay taxes

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”